Please allow me to explain. I’m a Muslim. I wrote this satiric book because I’m tired of turning on the news and seeing people (and I use the term loosely) who have Middle Eastern names doing terrible things in the name of my religion, i.e. forcing kidnapped children into marriage, beheadings, honor rapes, etc. A rational Muslim doesn’t think these things please God. Sometimes, especially in the company of non-Muslim friends, I’m embarrassed to claim I worship under the big inclusive Islamic umbrella because of those people. I’m not alone. I estimate there are hundreds of millions of Muslims who feel the same way – probably the vast majority of the world’s 1,600,000,000 Muslims. I have the ability to write this book to fight back; to try to reclaim what is ours. So I did. To the Muslim hate-mongers, please don’t think this book vindicates your hate. Intolerance has never bred peace and camaraderie. Jesus didn’t hate (or at least I don’t think he did -- I’ll keep it real, we haven’t actually talked). As you’ll see, nothing in this book insults the Islamic faith or any prophet. It’s not hate speech. Its aim is to foster positive change within the Muslim world, through humor, poignant commentary and shame, by convincing “Muslims” to stop doing un-Islamic things in the name of Islam. It’s not Islamic to put a Muslim man (or a man of any other faith) in a cage and to set him on fire. If just a few people who aim to join a terror group read this book and realize how un-Islamic their plan is, and how it’s misguided to think terror pleases God, and instead decide to stay home, get an education, raise a family, be a positive member of the global community and live normal peaceful, lawful, loving lives, then this book will have done some good. This book is dedicated to the voiceless, peaceful people who died violently in the name of religion.